About Me

Born in the east, rich with its mesmerising ideologies and myth, yet untangled and construed to a dormant past and living in the west, the buzzing melting pot of the modern world today, if you consider it that way, all encasing the tantalising realities of the latter that one must grapple with everyday, I am truly and well caught up in the middle.

But I am not alone as I am just one of the voiceless, irrelevant specks from the billions who do not utter a word even as they are made to run for cover and even while there are words yearning to tumble out of their humble mouths. At least in my case that should change I reckon.

By profession I am a twin as would be expected of a Gemini- stated here contrary to my revulsion for the Zodiac.  In the dusk I toil in the financial industry and by the dawn, slog a bit in the scientific instrumentation field, with plenty of scope for the cusps and true to any immigrant spirits in this northern hemisphere.

A certain strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde you could say of me, and you are perhaps in the ballpark but me as a person is not relevant here, in what I have to say which by the way is bound to go much beyond the park if I get the trajectory right that is. And I hope that the orb that I am trying to launch airborne is something that I can keep up in the air for a while and not boomerang on me. Well, any game you choose comes with its share of concussions and hazards.

In your curiosity to know more about me or just a pedestrian prying, I will strip naked or not so quick- but I must warn myself to take great care in treading the waters between a social contrarian and a social recluse because these are days, we find quite a few bad hombres harbinger such awful load of malice within them with which they unload their terrible insecurities into the unsuspecting public.

On the contrary if I were to listen to my alter ego and not say anything at all, it would be a nonstarter and like a rainy morning at the Lord’s cricket ground on an otherwise sunny midsummer day. How amazing it would have been to have a conjurer, like Shane Warne at your disposal to conjure up a spell, which in this case to bring down the clouds pleasing the goddesses of rain? Well, a rendition of the raga megh malhar as with Tansen in the court of the great Emperor Akbar would have done the trick.

And such is the legends of the land of music, dances, mystery and antiquity, obscurity, languages, colors and rituals, sweets and spices, customs and traditions, folktales and folksongs, rivers and mountains both simultaneously the abode and deliverance of divinity, secrets, promises and philosophy, souls and spirits of soul searching, the Apsara’s and the Yakshas, Epics and Upanishads, of reincarnation …the land I was born in – India – and cocooned and confined in its southern tip, the gods own country, of blue mountains of the western ghats , lake waters, and seductive fragrance of the flowers of the surreptitious trees, Vaka, and Paala, around which the enchanting Yakshi pry on hapless night striders and their abode in the sacred and possessed palm tree  (Yakshipana), the auspicious bald eagles (Krishnaprunthu) and owls that harbours hidden secrets, ornate Elephants ,Oracles, dreamers and their desires and despair, and of unrequited love ..

I Studied for my foremost education which reads Masters in Analytical Chemistry in the year 1987 at St Berchmans college Changanacherry of a certain pedigree, now under the well renowned Mahatma Gandhi university Kottayam, Kerala (where part of my inner soul still wanders around for salvation). I lived in Chennai most of my bachelor life, wandering on the streets around the musical and cultural centers of the vibrant city unbeknownst of the cultural undertones of the city and the country, inhaling some, which now so well reverberate within me and which I had to travel halfway around the globe to rediscover. As someone said, 

“Aanayae kandappolarinjilla pinne kalpadukal kandarinju”.  (Recognised the elephant from its footmarks having failed to do so meeting it)

As a travelling salesman for Scientific and Analytical instrumentation I must claim to have become somewhat Analytical in thinking and Scientific in introspection, recipe for a stirred up mind and been an observer for most of my life, gathering a lot of data so to speak, watching the seasons go and the people on many stages acting out their part though love and war and everything in between. Battleground for reason and introspections, right and wrong, past and present, optimism and pessimism, divided, condescending, enquiring. A contrarian.

Language to me is like skin on my thought if I can borrow a line from Arundhati Roy and my nomadic mind traverses through the recollections and anecdotes, reminiscences ,nostalgia and romances of the great Malayalam writers of our time which in turn is intrinsically to do with their borrowing mostly from the other Indian counterparts especially the ancient Sanskrit and the western resources predominantly English.

“Satyam bruyat priyam bruyat na bruyat satyam apriyam”…,

Quoting one of the few Sanskrit (Manusmriti) saying that I chanced upon, I shall try and adhere to its message which is to try and say the truth, only that what is fond to you, and try and not say the contrary..

“Don’t sacrifice sense for sentences”, bemoans from afar, Dr Panchapakesan, a senior scientist at a pharmaceutical company in Chennai. Echoes from a couple of decades ago which was a rebuke and simultaneously a piece of advice that was dished out to me in my process of attempting to sell him a Spectrophotometer device, with that exchange coming in my botched attempt at explaining some fluorescence phenomenon which hadn’t quite cut well with him.

That rhetoric however has struck a cord with me and aligned my mindset in a way, that the white light that enters the prism of my brain cells generally resolves somewhat well the many corresponding colors of it- literature, lyrics, sports, philosophy, and humanity along with some unresolvable wavelengths. After all, human beings can only experience some 5% or so of the electromagnetic spectrum and can only have a three-dimensional perspective on anything. Is it then futile to try and interpret anything at all?

That handicap perhaps accounts for all human weaknesses that can there ever be, myself not immune, at the twilight of my life, middle aged and middle class with the power to change nothing and the desire to change everything. Not quite the unselfish gene gasping for air, of Richard Dawkins’ genre that the world preaches one to be nor the selfish one that the world is tuned for.

Caught in the middle, born on the cusp. Is that just me the Gemini -who has to do all the running to be just where you are- according to Linda Goodman’s astrology? Nah I don’t believe in zodiacs.

But watch the world and all the selfless souls- some content as well as condemned to live a life of mere existence and many a contrarian exist among them, to whom these pages are dedicated to, if that is to mean anything, at the same time, aware that going against the populist might not be the best shot at esteem. Nevertheless, to expect any appreciation here on this platform will be a mighty contradiction in itself.

Why tell?

In what is more of a justification to myself than convincing the reader the reason why I write, the intend and purpose are simple and which can be explained as an urgent desire to tell ones’ story, as Salman Rushdie narrates of his character in the book Enchantress of Florence, where there appears a story-teller who having walked for an eternity to be in Emperor Akbar’s court just to be able to tell his story and despite a re-run of hilarious and catastrophic consequences, is not giving up his efforts in his quest to do so.

Social media is where we have moved our customary conversations, conventionally conducted at coffee shops, libraries and barbershops hitherto, where everything under the sun is debated and hence my move to its modern-day counterpart – the blog. Having said that, I reckon it cannot be as casual and carefree as that and when coming to matters under the sun it throws such conundrum as to what is right and what is wrong and the way arounds on vital issues, reason why we have conflict around us and around the world in the first place. 

However only the darkest corners in hell are reserved…….mind you.

Question and answers

No, I haven’t published a thing. yet

No, I am not a flat earther though I may entertain them for some entertainment value.

Not sure, as for the big bang it makes no bones to me but if I have any theories around it, the scientific community, according to Neil deGrasse Tysons’ good advice would mandate a means of testing it. So, lets confine it within the dinner table discussions.

Yes, you are right. I am unsure where to place a comma or a semicolon in a sentence in English.

Yes, as for evolution, while much is desired of it, that is still the best reasonable and rational theory what a human enquiry could concoct..

No. All ideologies and manifesto are good, and all leaders has good intent to start with but…

No. I don’t think taking a U turn in life is such a terrible practice.

Postscript

These pages are also practice runs, fostering an ambition and seeking a certain ambience in trying to reign on the meandering mind so as to sit down and be able to write, just anything, ultimately leading to my intend at writing a whole book.

As at this point, I have figured out an opening and a closing of my story and a name for the book –Upside down a Hibiscus tree – a good start at that indeed realistically, which is to say that, I have the cover ready, (illustration  by my daughter Maria), just so as to enable you fulfill the adage and for you to be able to… “judge the book by its cover….”